Monteria

A Playful Welcome

Welcome to Montería—where the humidity hugs you like an overenthusiastic abuela, the riverside breeze smells like freedom and grilled plantains, and if you blink, you might miss a rooster doing the salsa. This isn’t your typical Colombian tourist hotspot (we’re looking at you, Cartagena with your Instagram filters and overpriced coconut water). No, Montería is the cool cousin who shows up in flip-flops, knows all the best reggaeton lyrics, and insists you try sancocho even if you’re still in your pajamas. Pack your sunscreen, your sense of humor, and a spare stomach. You’re going to need both.

3 Fun Facts About Montería (Yes, We’re Still Talking About the Chicken)

1. Montería is the “Carnival Capital of the Caribbean”—but not the kind with confetti cannons and drag queens (though, honestly, we wouldn’t say no). It’s the home of the Feria de Montería, a 10-day extravaganza where cowboys on horses compete in cattle roping, locals dance to vallenato like their lives depend on it, and yes, there’s a chicken beauty pageant. That’s right. Chickens. In tiny crowns. We don’t question it. We just cheer.

2. It’s the birthplace of the legendary “Paisa” accent’s chill cousin—the cordobés dialect. If you think Bogotá’s Spanish is fast, try listening to a Monteriano talk while eating arepa. It’s like someone whispered the lyrics to a reggaeton song through a kazoo… and it somehow makes perfect sense.

3. The Sinú River runs through it like a liquid yoga instructor—calm, soothing, and occasionally hosting impromptu paddleboat serenades. Locals swear if you sit by the river at sunset and whisper your deepest secret to the water, it’ll turn into a fish and swim away… or at least that’s what they tell tourists before selling them a souvenir fish-shaped keychain.

Local Food You Must Try (Your Waistline Will Hate You, But Your Soul Will Thank You)

• Sancocho de Gallina: A soul-warming stew made with chicken, yuca, corn, and enough herbs to make a witch jealous. It’s Colombia’s answer to “I’m sad, I need a hug in bowl form.”
• Arepa de Huevo: A fried corn cake stuffed with a whole egg that oozes like a breakfast lava lamp. Eat it with your hands. Don’t be shy. The locals are already judging your chopsticks.
• Chicharrón con Arepa: Crispy pork belly served with a soft, buttery arepa. It’s like bacon and bread had a baby… and then that baby became a national treasure.
• Aguardiente con Limón: The local firewater. Think of it as Colombian vodka’s wild cousin who shows up at parties with a guitar and zero chill. Sip slowly. Or don’t. We’re not your mom.

One-Day Itinerary: 24 Hours in Montería (Because Who Has More Time?)

8:00 AM – Breakfast at La Casa de la Arepa
Start your day like a true Monteriano: arepa de huevo + hot chocolate with a side of gossip from the abuela behind the counter. Pro tip: Ask for “con queso blanco”—it’s the secret upgrade.

10:00 AM – Paseo del Río Sinú
Stroll along the riverbank. Watch locals fish, kids splash in the shallows, and a man serenading a turtle with a accordion. Take photos. Post them with #MonteriaIsChill.

12:30 PM – Lunch at El Rincón del Sancocho
Order the sancocho. Share it with three strangers. Now you’re family.

3:00 PM – Mercado Central
Wander the market like a detective hunting for the world’s spiciest ají. Buy a handmade hammock (you’ll need it after all that food). Bargain hard. They expect it. Also, buy a chicken-shaped keychain. You’ll thank us later.

6:00 PM – Sunset at Parque de los Novios
Sit on the bench where couples have proposed since 1997. Watch the sky turn orange, then pink, then “why is my phone battery at 3%?”

8:00 PM – Live Vallenato at La Casona de la Cumbia
Dance like no one’s watching. Then realize everyone is watching. And they’re clapping. Join in. You’re officially part of the culture now.

11:00 PM – Midnight Arepa at El Rincón del Huevo (yes, it’s open)
Because why not? You’ve earned it. And so has the egg.

Expectation vs. Reality (A Humorous Comparison)

Expectation	Reality
“It’s just another sleepy Colombian town.”	“Wait, did that chicken just win third place in the beauty pageant?!”
“I’ll need a map and a translator.”	“The guy selling mangoes speaks 5 languages, including ‘I love you’ in vallenato.”
“I’ll be bored by 2 PM.”	“I’ve now watched a man wrestle a goat, danced with a 70-year-old woman in heels, and cried over a bowl of stew. I don’t know what happened.”
“It’s too hot to do anything.”	“I sweat more here than I did during my last breakup… and it felt better.”

The Local’s Cheat Sheet

• Transport: Taxis are cheap and plentiful. Don’t use Uber unless you want to be asked, “¿Tú eres de otro país?” and then given a free ride and a complimentary arepa. Buses? Only if you enjoy becoming a human accordion.
• Etiquette: Smile. Always. Even if you’re lost, confused, or holding a live chicken. A smile here is worth 10 apologies.
• Hidden Gem: La Cueva del Río – a secret swimming hole 15 minutes outside town. Locals won’t tell you about it… unless you buy them a beer. Then they’ll give you directions… and a map drawn on a napkin.
• Pro Tip: Don’t ask “Where’s the nearest Starbucks?” They’ll stare at you like you just suggested replacing their vallenato with dubstep. Instead, ask for “¿Dónde venden el mejor café de la ciudad?” and prepare for a coffee so rich, it might start a cult.

An Encouraging Conclusion

Montería doesn’t need a UNESCO designation or a viral TikTok trend to be magical. It’s real. It’s loud. It’s messy. It’s delicious. It’s the kind of place that sneaks up on you while you’re eating your fifth arepa and suddenly you’re crying because you’ve never felt so seen… or so full.

So go. Wander the riverbanks. Dance with strangers. Try the chicken pageant (you can’t unsee it). Let the rhythm of the Sinú carry you. Montería doesn’t just welcome you—it adopts you. And trust us: your Instagram feed will thank you. Your stomach? Probably not. But your soul? Oh, your soul is going to throw a party. And it’s going to be legendary.