Uppsala

A Playful Welcome

Welcome to Uppsala—where the Vikings once roamed, the students now run (with lattes in hand), and the only thing taller than the cathedral is your regret for not packing more sweaters. This isn’t just a city; it’s a Swedish fairy tale written by a professor who also really loves pickled herring. You might think you’re here for the history… but let’s be honest—you’re here for the meatballs. And the Nordic chill. And possibly the fact that everyone here looks like they stepped out of a IKEA catalog… but cooler.

3 Fun Facts About Uppsala (That Will Make You Sound Smart at Dinner)

• The Cathedral is a Viking’s Dream (and Nightmare): Uppsala Cathedral is the largest in Scandinavia—and its spire? A towering 118.7 meters. That’s like stacking 37 giraffes on top of each other… and then adding a steeple. Legend says the Vikings used to sacrifice horses here before Christianity showed up and said, “Hey, maybe try prayer instead?”

• Sweden’s First University Was Here (and It’s Still Picky): Founded in 1477, Uppsala University is the oldest in Sweden—and still the most prestigious. If you get accepted here, your parents will cry. If you fail a class, you’ll be gently scolded in Swedish while sipping aquavit. The library has a 500-year-old manuscript… and a sign that says “Do not touch the dragon’s egg.” (It’s a medieval globe. Don’t ask.)

• Uppsala Has More Students Than Residents: Yes, really. Out of ~230,000 people in the greater area, over 50,000 are students. That means there are more people here with backpacks than actual grown-ups. You’ll see more “Fika” signs than traffic lights. And yes, they all know where to get the best cinnamon buns.

Local Food You Must Try

• Köttbullar (Swedish Meatballs): Not the IKEA kind. The Uppsala kind. Smothered in creamy gravy, served with lingonberry jam and mashed potatoes. Pro tip: Order them at Fågeln—a cozy spot where the meatballs have more personality than your ex.

• Surströmming (Fermented Herring): For the brave. Smells like a gym sock that’s been fermenting in a barrel since 1987. Locals eat it with boiled potatoes, sour cream, and onions… on a tunnbröd (thin bread). It’s an experience. You’ll cry. You’ll laugh. You’ll question your life choices. And then you’ll go back for more.

• Prinsesstårta (Princess Cake): A green velvet sponge cake layered with cream, jam, and marzipan. It’s like if a cupcake and a tiara had a baby… and that baby was served at royal weddings. Eat one. You’ll understand why Swedes are so calm. It’s basically emotional support dessert.

One-Day Itinerary (24 Hours? You’ve Got This!)

8:00 AM — Breakfast at Fika & Co.
Start your day with a cinnamon bun the size of your head and a coffee so good it might make you reconsider your entire life. Bonus: The barista will wink at you. It’s a Swedish thing.

9:30 AM — Uppsala Cathedral
Climb the 365 steps (yes, really) to the top for a view that’ll make your Instagram followers weep. Take a selfie with the spire. Tag it #SpireGoals.

11:00 AM — Linnaeus Garden
Walk through the botanical garden where Carl Linnaeus (the guy who named every living thing) once tripped over a tulip and invented taxonomy. Also, smell the roses. They’re not just pretty—they’re scientifically certified.

1:00 PM — Lunch at Kafé Sjöberg
Try their famous meatballs + lingonberry sauce. Then ask for the “secret” chocolate cake. The owner will pretend not to hear you… but will give you a slice anyway.

3:00 PM — Gamla Uppsala (Old Uppsala)
Visit the ancient burial mounds where Viking kings were laid to rest. Feel the energy. Take a deep breath. Whisper: “I’m not a Viking… but I could be.” (It’s therapeutic.)

6:00 PM — Fika at Ångströms Kafé
Sip coffee while students debate quantum physics. You’ll understand nothing. But you’ll nod like you do. That’s the Uppsala way.

8:00 PM — Dinner at Restaurang Sjömagasinet
Dine in a converted 1800s warehouse by the river. Order the reindeer. Or the salmon. Or both. You’re on vacation. Be reckless.

10:00 PM — Night Walk by the Fyris River
Watch the lights shimmer on the water. Listen to the silence. Realize: This is peace. And also, you’re slightly drunk on aquavit. Perfect.

Expectation vs. Reality (Humorous Comparison)

Expectation	Reality
“Uppsala will be quiet and serene, like a library with snow.”	“Uppsala is a 24/7 student rave disguised as a medieval cathedral. The silence? It’s just the sound of 10,000 Swedes politely not yelling at each other.”
“I’ll learn Swedish by osmosis.”	“You’ll learn ‘tack’ and ‘fika’ and then panic when someone says ‘jag är en katt’ (I am a cat). You’re not a cat. You’re just confused.”
“I’ll see a real Viking.”	“You’ll see a guy in a leather vest holding a kombucha and yelling ‘Vikings were just early adopters!’ at a pub. He’s 23. He’s from Gothenburg. He’s not even from Uppsala.”

The Local’s Cheat Sheet

• Transport: Buses are reliable. Buy a “Uppsala Mobilt” app ticket. Don’t try to pay with cash—it’s like trying to use a fax machine in 2024. Also, bikes are everywhere. Rent one. You’ll look cool. You’ll also fall off. It’s part of the experience.

• Etiquette: Don’t hug strangers. Don’t raise your voice. Don’t say “Jag är trött” (I’m tired) unless you mean it. Swedes will nod slowly and then offer you a cinnamon bun. That’s their love language.

• Hidden Gems:

  • Gustavianum Museum: A 17th-century building with a skull collection, a giant anatomical theatre, and a tiny mummy named “Lars.”
  • Kungsgatan Street: The most charming alley in town. Perfect for slow walking, photography, and pretending you’re in a Nordic noir series.
  • The “Uppsala Ice Cream” Truck: Appears randomly in summer. Flavors include “Lingonberry Lavender” and “Aquavit Caramel.” Don’t question it. Just buy.

An Encouraging Conclusion

Uppsala doesn’t shout. It whispers. It offers you a cinnamon bun instead of a fight. It lets you climb a cathedral and then gives you a hug via a perfectly brewed coffee. It’s not flashy. It’s not loud. But it’s the kind of place that sticks to your soul like lingonberry jam to a meatball. So go. Wander the cobblestones. Get lost in a library. Eat the herring. (Seriously, just try it once.) You’ll leave not just with photos—but with a quiet kind of joy. And maybe a new favorite word: fika. Now go. Your Swedish adventure is waiting. And yes, they have Wi-Fi.